Happy 5th Birthday Remi!

Your grandparents, our Kenyan family and I were waiting with party hats and cameras when I saw the flash of golden hair that always makes my heart leap. You came floating up the ramp like a little cloud of imagination, hands delicately spreading out your dress. Innocent and unknowing of how precious you are, like the sun, the rain, and the moon. I want you to know how much you mean to me.

Remi, there are times in everyones life when they lose hope. Sometimes the best thing you can do is be strong and quiet for people who are hurt. When someone's life is shattered you probably shouldn't tell them everything will be ok, because they might not be ready to hear that yet. Sometimes people need a quiet hug while they feel sadness. That's called empathy.

But do you know what? If I could time travel back to when I got sick, I would break the rules of empathy and tell myself everything will be ok. Because you're so special, and I'm luckiest Dad in the world. "Life will be chaotic, but one day you'll throw your daughter her 5th birthday party." That would have been enough.

Today my heart is full of love and happiness. There was a time when I didn't think I would ever have that again. But you saved me Rem. Every time a layer of my life is stripped away, I just get closer to you. I'm so proud to be your Dad. Happy Birthday! I love you so much. Now it's time for cheese pizza and unicorn cupcakes.